Monday, March 22, 2010

Another Rant Against Flim Flam, Horse Feathers & Horseshit - the Conclusion

Yes, I’m back!

I am going to try to follow the Conservative journey from my perspective…if we go back to Russell Kirk’s six “canons”…

• I can’t agree that there is divine intent…but I do believe that personal conscience has an effect on society.
• I can’t agree that there is more variety in traditional life or that Progressive or Liberal Systems are characterized by uniformity.
• I do not believe that a civilized society requires orders and classes…this would define civilization as it existed in ancient Greece or ancient Rome and could justify both keeping certain people at the poverty level, and slavery.
• I don’t agree that property and freedom are inseparably connected. This premise sounds very much like the argument that the slave-holding plantation owners used around 1848.
• I don’t believe that man is more emotional than rational…that man’s will and appetites are always pursuing the basest courses of action.
• I don’t believe that society must alter slowly, but that change is healthy and allows society to better itself rather than adhering to stagnant ideologies.
Now even though Kirk established his “canons” or principles for Conservatives as fact…they are not any more than my opinions about them are facts. They illustrate the conflicting ideologies that exist in our current political system…but neither are FACTS.

The primary reason that Conservative ideologies have appealed to a portion of our society is that it provides justification and both bigotry and greed. If we look at what the “canons” say between the lines…you come up with something like:
• You only matter if you believe in the same deity that we believe in.
• That status quo protects the wealth that we have accumulated and allows us to do just about anything to attain more wealth (i.e., drill for oil in Denali, etc.)
• That you can not have a “ruling class” without other classes to be ruled.
• That unless you have property you don’t count.
• That man is basically evil and needs to be protected from himself.
• That status quo is a virtue within itself.

Now a few years ago I could have argued these points in a very learned and civil manner with the likes of William F. Buckley, jr. or George Will (I still could with George Will). They were (and are in George Will’s case) very intelligent, thoughtful individuals who could argue the Conservative point of view.

But somehow “the train jumped the track”, and we have a group of morons and “batshit crazy” candidates and pseudo pundits taking the American public down a path to stupid.

Now there has always been a lunatic fringe…Joseph R McCarthy, George Wallace, Curtis LeMay, and others. However, they never had the influence or “political clout” that the modern crop has.

But now, Republicans, young and old, quote Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Rielly, Ann Coulter, and the likes as though they had written the Gospels. If they said it, no matter how absurd, it had to be true!

During the fiasco of the Presidential Election of 2000…many of us decried the electoral college. But the purpose for it was valid. The Founding Fathers designed it to keep the “Batshit Crazy” Candidates like Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman from being elected to the Presidency…at least that was the theory.

...until next time...

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Another Rant Against Flim Flam, Horse Feathers, and Horseshit...

Oh no…there he goes again!

In order to understand where the Conservatives are coming from, and being the historian that I am, I did a bit of research on the Conservative tradition in America.

According to Wikipedia: “…there has always been a Conservative tradition in America, but the American Conservative tradition was popularized by Russell Kirk in 1953, when he wrote The Conservative Mind. Russell Kirk state that Conservatism is base on the central idea of ordered liberty. It is the blending of the sometimes contending requirements of the community and the individual, of individual freedom and individual responsibility, of limited government and unlimited markets. To Kirk, there were six basic “canons” or principles of Conservatism:
• A divine intent, as well as personal conscience, rules society.
• Traditional life is filled with variety and mystery while most radical
systems are characterized by a narrowing uniformity.
• Civilized society requires orders and classes.
• Property and freedom are inseparably connected.
• A man must control his will and his appetite, knowing that he is governed
more by emotion than by reason.
• Society must alter slowly.

In 1955, William F. Buckley. Jr. founded the National Review, a Conservative magazine that included traditionalists such as Kirk, along with Roman Catholics, Libertarians, and anti-Communists.

In 1964, when Barry Goldwater, the United States Senator from Arizona and the author of The Conscience of a Conservative (1960), won the Republican Presidential nomination after a fierce fight. He lost the election badly, but permanently shifted the Republican Party to the Right. Part of Goldwater’s base were Southern Democrats who were alienated by Democratic support of Federal Civil Rights legislation.

Modern Conservatism became a major political force in the ‘70’s when religious organizations such as the Moral Majority brought together separate ideologies under a Conservative umbrella know as “fusionism”.

In the ‘80’s Ronald Reagan solidified Conservative Republican strength by appealing to fundamentalist Christians – historians and textbooks refer to this as “The Age of Reagan” or the “Reagan Era.”

In the ‘90’s, Conservatives found consolidation in a new and somewhat controversial leader, Congressman Newt Gingrich. His Contract With America created an atmosphere that allowed Republicans to gain 52 seats and assume a majority in the House and recapture control of the Senate.

The one political constant throughout the last 50 years has been the rise of the Right. The Conservative movement has become a major and often dominant player in the political and economic realms of America.
- Lee Edwards, Ph.D. – Distinguished Fellow in Conservative thought in the
Kenneth B. Simon Center for American Studies at the Heritage Foundation.

…I just know that everyone is waiting with “baited breath” for my response in my next posting…

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Stop dissing Trolls...

Please indulge me because I need to go back in time for a bit to clarify something. If you remember I was in the Air Force (way back in the Sixties). I was in military intelligence, and if I told you any more than that I would have to kill you. Anyway one of my friends decided to give me a nickname and I really don’t know for sure where it came from. One time he said it was because I was always chasing girls…and another time it was what I “looked like”. I never did find out the real story. But, I was stuck with the nickname TROLL. It even became my call-sign…and one of the girls that I was dating sent me two-foot tall troll.

So you see, I have been the TROLL for about forty-five years, and it bothers me that it has become a pejorative term.

I looked troll up in Wikipedia. This is what I found - - A troll has become in internet slang “…someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous , or off-topic messages in an online community…with the primary intent of provoking users into an emotional response or otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. The word also evokes the trolls in Scandinavian folklore and children’s tales, as they are often creatures bent on mischief or wickedness. The verb ‘troll” originates from the Old French term “troller”, a hunting term. The noun “Troll” however, comes from the Old Norse word for a mythological monster. Originally trolls were more or less the Nordic equivalents of giants, although somewhat smaller in size. They were also by some accounts devious, more human-like folk of the wilderness, living underground in hills, cave or mounds.

The Urban Dictionary defines a Troll as…one who purposely and deliberately (that purpose usually being self- amusement) starts an argument in a manner which attacks others on a forum without in any way listening to the arguments proposed by his or her peers. He will spark an argument via the use of ad hominem attacks (i.e. “you’re nothing but a fanboy” is a popular phrase) with no substance to back them up as well as straw man arguments which he uses to simply avoid addressing the essence of the issue.

So now when I innocently refer to myself as the Troll, it immediately generates disrespect and conjures up all the new evil connotations.

Well, enough is enough! I have been a Troll much longer that the internet has existed…therefore it is my right to have a little respect!

There is an internet acronym: DNFTT – “Do not feed the trolls”

Well, I have another one for you: DNFWTT – “Do not FUCK with this TROLL”.

…there will be more next time…

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Spring Forward...

Up here in the frozen tundra we look forward with breathless anticipation to the first signs of spring.


The past few days have been a welcome relief with temps running in the mid-forties (a tropical heat wave). We have also noticed that Elsie has been very busy working on some new holes in the “dogyard” and she has been adding to her rock collection. We have been finding these small muddy rocks in various places on the carpet. Elsie is supposed to be an Aussi-Poo, but I think that there may be some groundhog , or gopher in her bloodlines…there is nothing she likes better than to dig.



What is supposed to be the driveway in the front of our trailer has become a huge sink hole…I christened it “Thief River Swamp” and I have been checking around on how much it would cost to lay about a four inch deep base of gravel. I was told not to even think about it until the ground dries out some or the gravel will just disintegrate into the “Swamp”. Depending on who I talk to…to cover an eight foot by twelve foot area with about four inches of gravel will run somewhere between $600 and $700. Now I wouldn’t mind making the investment if we owned the lot…but it is a rental. And we were notified that they are going to buy our trailer out within the next two years because our lot will go away and be folded into a road-widening project. I guess I might just have someone dump a couple of truckloads of dirt in and see if that helps at all.


Other than that it has really been pretty quiet…our excitement revolves around our next clinic appointment, taking Elsie to the Vet, and our almost daily trek to WALLYWORLD…I can hardly contain myself with anticipation…I have a “fasting blood draw”, an appointment with my primary physician, and a protine test all in the same day…Wow! Then there is the upcoming colonoscopy…not so much gleeful anticipation there , and a CT Scan of my pulmonary system in Fargo. Sarah has a laparoscopic esophageal surgery coming up shortly…and that is what happens in the life of us old farts in Thief River Falls.


…there will be more next time…

Monday, March 15, 2010

Live Long and Prosper...

Many of those who know me well will question the title…but I have beaten the “Old Grim Reaper” out of almost thirty years. And my economic circumstances might not be thought of as prosperous…but it depends on how you define prosperity. When I was younger my type “A” personality drove me chase those things that other people determined made you successful. After all my heart issues and other health “bullshit”…I determined that material things don’t REALLY mean a damn thing.

I have been fortunate enough to live long enough to appreciate all the blessings that I have been given.

Among these I number: an extremely wonderful wife Sarah, my three Children: Ben, Aimee, and Lynsey(who all happen to be SMART ASSES – who would have thought that), my daughter-in-law Jena, my son-in-law Kristopher, my step-granddaughter Mandi , and my five “little baby girls”, Bryanna, Danielle, MacKenzie, Caitlin, and Emily. I have also had a few very wonderful friends…some who are no longer with us…but were important in my life none the less.

My best friend Ron Lamberg has been my friend since we were about 14(he is riding his motorcycle up six and a half hours to see me this Spring – a REAL friend), my friend, and sometime lover , Susan McCann, My friend Nancy Brainard, my friends Gary and Dagney Lingen (both are no longer with us), my friend Bob Goldenberg (also no longer with us), and my dear friend Vern Moore (who passed away about this time last year).

I appreciate the ability to see great movies and listen to wonderful music (in every genre), and being a tiny bit anal retentive, I create lists…GREATEST MOVIES, Greatest Love songs, 100 greatest guitarists, 25 GREATEST Male Vocalists, 25 GREATEST female vocalists, etc. (you get the picture). All of these lists are VERY subjective, and sometimes get me into trouble.

I sort of live by this quote of Leo Kottke’s: “I will literally open my mouth not knowing what is coming out.”

I was looking over my FAVORITE guitarist list and was shocked that the list was full of a lot of old people and a lot of dead people. Among those deceased are: Chet Atkins, Les Paul, Jimi Hendrix, Mike Bloomfield, Jerry Garcia, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and George Harrison. Dick Dale is 72, Duane Eddy is 71, Roy Clark is 67, Bonnie Raitt and Richard Thompson are 60, Jimmy Page is 56, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck, Eddie Van Halen and Pat Metheny are 55, David Gilmour, Pete Townshend and Leo Kottke are all 54, Ry Cooder, Justin Hayward, and Joe Satriani are 53, Carlos Santana is 52, and Mark Knopfler is 50. Pushing this group is Steve Vai at 49, and the Swedish guitarist Yngwie Johann Malmsteen at 46.

But there are some wonderful younger guitar heroes: Herman Li (33) and Sam Totman (26) of Dragonforce and Orianthi (Pangaris) (24)…so there is a VERY bright future.

Yes my life is good…and in the evenings Sarah plays the piano and I sing with her (paraphrasing Leo once more) “in my baritone which could be described as goose farts on a muggy day.” But she enjoys it (See what wondrous things love can do?)


…there will be more next time…

Sunday, March 14, 2010

More Flim Flam, Horse Feathers & Horseshit

It is time to ask your indulgence once again as I address some of the lunacy in the political arena concerning the Public Option for Healthcare Reform, rampant insanity among the GOP, and Social Security.

The GOP is running a mass smear campaign against Healthcare reform because they are running scared and they will lose all the “perks” that their lobbyist friends provide them…don’t get me wrong there are plenty of Democrats “at the trough” too. Anyone who earns less than $300, 000 should not be against providing baseline coverage to those Americans who are either uninsured, or under-insured. The idea that this is leading down the road to socialism or communism is such an old hackneyed ploy as to be laughable if there wasn’t so much at stake. I am old enough to remember Joseph Raymond McCarthy (Republican Senator from Wisconsin) and his accusations of subversion, treason, and disloyalty. For political gain he stated that “there are more than two hundred ‘card-carrying’ communists who have infiltrated the United States government. He said this without a shred of evidence, and the accusations were proven untrue. However, he did destroy or least do great harm to the careers of many individuals simply making unsubstantiated accusations.

Now let’s talk about the “Wingnut” that represents the Sixth District in Minnesota Michelle Bachman (hereafter known as “STINKY”). She has been re-elected, and is up for a third term. She has a campaign called Kill the Bill going and has brought in the heavy guns. On the same platform will be none other than: the moron the GOP ran for Vice President, Sarah Palin (hereafter known as “WINKY”). Both claim to be college educated…however, there is no evidence that either has read a book…I think their dogs may have eaten all their textbooks (especially those concerning history and geography). Neither WINKY nor STINKY has ever had trouble making things up when the facts didn’t back their point. Neither has a basic understanding of civics and how the government should operate…so how can we expect them to govern FOR the people.

Next item is the billboard with “W” on it that says: “Miss Me Yet?” And I can honestly tell you that I miss George W. Bush as much as I miss getting Cholera, or Diphtheria, or Syphilis. “W” and his "band of clowns" had eight years to destroy this country, and they certainly did a damn good job. It may take twenty years to clean it up, and then again it might have gone too far to be cleaned up.

The next item for discussion is the new book by Karl Rove "Courage and Consequence: My Life as a Conservative" which is purported to be a memoir, but it probably should be in the Fiction Section at all the booksellers. I tried to pick it up to get a "first hand" view of what it had to say about his years with "W". But, it was so slimy it kept falling to the floor. After several attempts, I gave up because I didn't want to be forced to purchase the book because the binding got broken. Did I mention that both he and Dick Chaney should be writing their memoirs from prison cells.

Last, I would like to address Social Security. Everyone talks about what a mess it is in and how it needs to be “fixed” or privatized, or whatever. Let me start by saying Social Security does not need to be fixed. Don’t take my word for it, unlike Bachman and Palin, I have credible sources for my arguments.

Dr. Allen W. Smith is Professor of Economics Emeritus at Eastern Illinois University. His economics textbooks are used in colleges and universities across the country. His books have been alternate selections for the Fortune Book Club.

Dr. Smith states: “In 1983 there was a payroll tax hike and it generated nearly 2.5 TRILLION dollars in SURPLUS REVENUE that was supposed to be saved and invested to fund the retirement of the baby-boomer generation – the government has “borrowed” almost every dollar. This was against the law because when the tax hike was enacted…it specifically stated that the monies could be used for no other purpose than to fund Social Security. Democrats and Republicans alike are responsible for the “rape of the system”, it became a general slush fund and was used for every program except what it was designed for…so don’t fix Social Security…just hold those accountable who allowed the system to be illegally “drained”.

…see you soon with more cheery news from the FROZEN TUNDRA…

Saturday, March 13, 2010

The Reports of my Death...

James Ross Clemens, a cousin of mine was seriously ill two or three weeks ago in London, but is well now. The report of my illness grew out of his illness, the report of my death was an exaggeration. - Mark Twain (May 1897)

Yes, all those reports of my death were an exaggeration…but I do thank all those folks who sent flowers and sympathy cards…there is nothing like your death to bring people “out of the woodwork”.

My last posting was Wednesday , September 30, 2009…so I have to catch everyone up.

The last few months have been a little rough on me: my breathing deteriorated, I lost most of what little energy that I had, and my weakened immune system allowed me to contract several things one after another…I had become dehydrated, which brought back the nausea, got a screaming case of the shingles along the nerve where they did the laparoscopic surgery, got a very good case of bronchitis (which nearly turned into pneumonia). My dear Sarah has been so wonderful that I sent a letter to the Pope asking that she be canonized…so in the future I will probably be speaking of Saint Sarah. She has put up with a whole lot of whining the last few months…but she did call me a DORK when I told her that one of my medications tasted like “sour owl shit”.

For the most part I have adjusted to living up here in the Frozen Tundra…and to be quite honest I like Thief River Falls a lot. I didn’t like the fact that we got snowed in at Christmas and didn’t get to visit the “little girls” until New Year’s Eve. We stayed at my son; Ben’s…and had a really wonderful time. We went down again for my granddaughter Dani’s fourth birthday and could not get over how much MacKenzie had changed…she barely talked at New Year’s, and now she talks all of the time and is really funny. She is only two, but she misses her Poppa the most, and calls me almost every day…but most of the time she just wants to talk to our little Aussie-Poo, Elsie. She might miss her more than she misses me.

Well, now that you know that I am still alive and pretty much on the mend…there will be more next time…